Pained Smiles
by xShadowFistx
Summary: His father and brother are dead. His comrades slowly fall around him. He is constantly overcome with guilt and depression. So why should he keep living? Because through all of his troubles, she can bring at least some happiness to ease his mind. Formerly titled "Light in the Dark," first chapter is rewritten.


**Author's Note: **Hello and thank you for deciding to read my first work! I noticed a clear lack of GS x BSN fics, so I decided to write my own for one of my favorite pairings. I know I'm not the best author and I welcome constructive criticism on my writing, but please do not waste my time with flaming. Reviews are appreciated; replies to any will be located at bottom of each chapter.

I've actually revised and changed the plot in this chapter many weeks after posting because I felt that the way I had started it off was too slow and boring and it was becoming difficult to write the following chapters. I wanted to wait until I knew what'd happen in Fan Castle with DW8 anyway, so that I could at least include the new Shu siblings. This may mean that the story contains DW8 spoilers but hopefully they aren't too bad. Thank you for your patience and understanding as I try to make this story work out.

Unfortunately, the summary was too short to let you know about a couple things. While this story focuses on GS x BSN, it will possibly hint at other ships, so I'm sorry if you don't like the ones I may hint at. This is rated K+, but be aware of violence and blood if you're sensitive to one or the other (though assuming you've played Dynasty Warriors, you shouldn't have too much of a problem with fighting). Lastly, the characters are in their DW8 appearances, and the story is a combination of DW8 and DW7's Shu/Jin Story Mode, GS and BSN's DW7 legendary battles and dialogue.

With all that said, I hope you enjoy.

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**Pained Smiles - Chapter One**

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The ringing in his ears slowly faded out into the crisp wet sounds of water calmly lapping against the banks, the cold waves splashing playfully against his heels before retreating from the shore. A burning sensation caused by the salty water stung in his eyes and a few places on his arms and legs, likely where he had scratches and open cuts. It troubled him to simply breathe, with searing pains in his chest and the wind knocked out of him. His head felt thick and dense; a seemingly distant, aching pain stated its presence at the back of his skull. A part of him was so exhausted that it wanted to drift back off to sleep, but another was too anxious and restless, worried that if he did resume his slumber he wouldn't wake up again.

He willed for his legs to move but felt no sensation in his frozen body—he was entirely unsure if his body was even there, having gone through such a turbulent experience that his body, mind, nor spirit could handle. He tensed his muscles and flickered open his eyelids, staring at the cloudy, light grey-blue sky with a tired gaze before shifting his glance downwards. He relaxed a little, seeing that his body was still fully intact albeit covered in cuts and bruises. Lacking the motivation and energy to sit up, he closed his eyes, figuring that he could lie here and wait for someone, something to come along and help him...but he inwardly frowned when the thought of the possibility that he could have ended up on some remote beach and had to save himself crossed his troubled mind. Tentatively, he told his hand to move and his fingers slowly responded, the rough sand beneath his body gently brushing against his skin. After feeling his fingers curl, flex and stretch out, he repeated with the other side and then attempted to move the whole arm itself, the motions causing warm blood to rush through the cold, numb muscles.

Flashes of the terrible memory appeared involuntarily through his head, and although they were already shut he squeezed his eyelids down tightly. He shuddered as a wave of hot guilt washed over his body and his heart filled with dread. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth curved into a troubled frown, trying to force away the images but failing. It was all his fault. This had all happened because of his incompetence. If only he had—

Stop.

He didn't need his mind to keep reminding him of that incident over and over again. It was fresh and permanent in his memory; he would surely never forget his mistakes. Bringing his hand to his face, he rubbed the bridge of his nose while sighing—before quickly breaking into a fit of painful coughs. The unpleasant taste of blood, salt and vomit entered his mouth and, much to his annoyance, settled there. He groaned and moved his hand to his forehead to gingerly massage his throbbing temples, the unwanted thoughts still floating in his mind as he wished that he had awakened in a less miserable state or place than he was in now.

"Hey, are you awake yet?" a voice whispered from the side.

Shocked at the presence of another individual, his eyes flashed open and his whole body tensed. He sharply turned his head to the left and found a kneeling girl watching him with concern. Her youthful complexion was framed by flirtatious light brown hair falling past her chin, strangely colored with green streaks and decorated with colorful beads. Long lashes and eyeshadow lined her shining eyes, and her features were gentle, almost with the essence of a child to them. Her rosy cheeks gave her a look of innocence, and her face seemed to beam with radiance and energy. He relaxed, seeing that she appeared harmless, but he was left puzzled. Why had help arrived in a form of a little girl, of all people? Surely it was someone else who had saved him from drowning, right? Even the probability that he had washed up on the sand and was only discovered by the girl was higher than the likelihood of being rescued by someone like her.

"Oh good, you are." She extended a gloved hand out to the young man. "Here, I'll help you get up!"

"I think I have it," he insisted as he lifted his head and attempted to push himself up on his own. However, he gasped as his arms quickly buckled, lacking the strength and energy to get him off the ground. Pursing his lips with disappointment, he reluctantly obliged and took her hand, letting her pull him gently and wincing as he languidly sat up. Dizziness swept through his head and his vision darkened briefly, but the pain gradually passed away. In the same slow manner as before he began moving his legs and drawing them closer to his body, settling in a cross-legged position and wiping the sand off his knees. "Thank you," he muttered, brushing off the dirt on his arms while carefully avoiding his wounds. "Are...are we still in Jing province?

"Mhmm!"

"Is Fan Castle close by?"

"Fan Castle? Let's see...it shouldn't be too far if you keep traveling near the river and following its path upstream."

"Do you know if anyone came searching for me?"

"...I don't know? I mean, if they found you, you'd probably be with them now and not here with me."

Point taken. "Are we close to any towns?"

"Depends on what you mean by close, but yeah."

"How many of them, if any, are occupied by Wu or Wei soldiers?"

"You ask the strangest questions!" Her eyes twinkled with amusement. "You only just woke up. Don't worry too much and don't ask about everything that happened while you were out, or it'll be a lot of stuff to handle."

"These are questions that I simply must know the answers to," he replied, surveying his surroundings with weary eyes. A light fog blanketed the horizon, hiding the tips of the trees in a far away forest. The river's current was still quite fast, but because the rain had stopped for the time being the water had slowed down somewhat. Further upstream he could see the banks build up into steeper slopes and cliffs, similar to those back at the castle but not as tall. The terrain also appeared rockier and the waters almost resembled rapids, again like those of the rock-filled regions in the river near Fan Castle. Therefore, he concluded, this was the same river that passed near the castle and the one that carried him all the way from there to here. With the fog in the sky, he couldn't tell how close or far he was from the battlefield, or if his forces were already driven out or not. But he hoped they escaped safely, especially his siblings...

"Are these yours?" the young lady asked, showing him vibrant red nunchucks attached together by a golden chain.

His eyes widened. "Y-Yes!" he exclaimed, taking them into his own hands and fingering the golden designs on the ends, determining that it was definitely, undoubtedly his. "I thought I had lost them! How did you..."

"As I was pulling you out of the water I saw them drifting by. I decided to pick them up just in case they belonged to you!" She smiled cheerfully. "It's lucky for you that I did!"

Surprise, followed by disbelief. "Wait, you're saying...you _rescued_ me?"

She nodded, pride showing clearly through the gesture. "Yep! I happened to be strolling on the path over there when I saw something in the river. It turned out that it was you! You were unconscious already, but you were face up and still breathing. I just followed my instinct and dragged you out of the water, and I've been waiting for a little while. Until you woke up, I mean. It must've been fate that I found you out here and was able to help!"

He did not share in her excitement. He inwardly frowned upon hearing that he was dragged out by a girl; it reminded him too much of the incident before when he got knocked out cold by an enemy officer and his sister had to carry him out and back to the base. That may have humiliated him in front of many back then, but this time...this time hurt him even more inside. This second time served to confirm just how weak and helpless he was. How useless a person he was. Brooding inside, he lowered his head and hid his disappointed face from the girl, too immersed in his own self-depreciative thoughts to notice her leaning towards him.

"Hey, you alright?"

He lifted his head, looking into her worried face for a moment before averting his gaze. "Yes, I'm fine," he answered, knowing how unconvincing he sounded. "I was just thinking about something else for a moment. I apologize for not saying this earlier when such a response would've been appropriate, but...thank you." He placed one fist in the other palm and bowed his head briefly, as if he were bowing to a superior back in his kingdom's army. "You have my utmost gratitude. How will I ever repay you?"

It was the girl's turn to lower her head, her cheeks noticeably reddening. "Oh, now isn't the time for you to start thinking about that. You need to rest and recover from whatever you've just been through!" She quickly hopped and stood up, brushing the sand off of her legs before picking up a strange metal object behind her. Lending a hand to Suo, she suggested, "Come on, I'll lead you to my camp! It's hopefully not too much of a walk, and I have food and some bandages to last you before we go to one of those towns."

He gripped her hand firmly and slowly stood up, the nunchaku in the hold of his other hand. "Thank you for your kindness, but I must get going. My brother and sister must be worried about m—augh!" Pain shot through his ankle and he collapsed, letting out a forceful hiss.

She quickly dropped to the ground, squatting and looking over his kneeling figure with worry. "Are you alright? Where does it hurt?"

A grimace was apparent on the young man's face as he rubbed the joint tenderly. "Here, in my ankle." He removed his hand as the girl gently pressed on the area in several places. In one spot she pushed down on, he sharply inhaled, the pain notably more intense. "Ow, don't push any harder. It hurts the most there."

"Sorry," she murmured, withdrawing her hands. "Did you hurt it when you fell in the river?"

"I'm honestly not sure. I must've sprained it or something, somehow..."

"Can you move your foot?"

"I'd rather not try to."

"Well, I'm no medical expert, but there's also the possibility you broke it. And either way, you're in no condition to travel," the girl declared. She moved to the side of Suo and placed his arm over her shoulder, carefully rising and helping him stand. "Really, I know you want to see your family again, but you won't get to them if you don't heal up first."

He remained silent.

"Remember, I said I would let you stay where I'm camping for the night. We can head for the closest town in the morning."

"...Fine," he agreed after hesitation, glancing at her warm fingers wrapped around his wrist before staring at his injured foot. "But I don't want to be a burden on you."

A friendly chuckle escaped her lips as they began walking from the beach to the dirt path, at a slow rate because of his injury. "You're not a burden at all! I'm doing all of this willingly, you know?"

"I appreciate that, but I just...don't want to get in the way of anything."

"Look, you won't get in the way of anything and you better stop thinking like that, alright?" She stopped for a moment to reposition herself underneath his arm to prevent it from slipping so much, then continued down the dirt road at Suo's pace.

Silence filled the air between them for the majority of their walk. To the left of them was a steep five-meter wall of earth and a small wooden fence along the edges that protected people from falling. The trail they walked on followed the curves of the cliff, then pulled away and branched off to two different paths. "Straight ahead," she murmured, tugging him lightly in the direction they needed to go. After a few minutes...or several...he realized did not know how fast time was passing and glanced at the cloudy sky. If the grey storm clouds were absent, he would at least have a sense of what time of the day it was. But his perception of time was warped, as well as many of the emotions inside of him...he desperately needed to sort out both.

As they treaded down the road, Suo's mind ended up wandering to the bitter memories of him and his family at Fan Castle. He still had not gotten over the fact that his father and brother died. Worse, he believed that his father's death was all thanks to his failures. And as a result, the battle had unsurprisingly left him with many regrets and wishes. If only he could've done more for his father and brother while he had the chance. If only he hadn't let the enemy separate and surround them and prevent them from seeing each other again. If only the five of them had known that it would be their last time united together. He should've been more grateful to his father and more appreciative of his father's actions. He had much he still wanted to learn from his father, much that he wanted to tell and ask of his brother Ping. But unfortunately, it was too late to do those things now.

Without realizing it, he let out a deeply troubled sigh.

"Are you okay? Do you need to rest for a bit?" The girl ceased moving, awaiting a response from the young man.

"No, it's not pain or fatigue. Just unpleasant personal thoughts."

"Ah...alright." She didn't ask any more questions after that.

Though he was slower than he wanted to be, they still progressed to their destination faster than he had thought they would. They seemed to be nearing a mountain range, though the mountains were not of any incredible size. In fact, they were relatively small and could have been considered large hills of stone. Their slopes, though, were still undeniably steep, no matter how big they were. The sky gradually dimmed as they treaded on, and were it not for the giant rainclouds hovering in the sky, an orange and pink sunset would've appeared in the horizon. However, in its place were threatening grey masses that looked as if they'd pour on the land at any minute. Suo grumbled; he'd had enough of rain today and he wasn't looking forward to anymore.

The path once more branched off into two; one swerved to the right and seemed to lead to a bridge that crossed over the river in the distance, while the other first went straight and then angled slightly to the left as it passed through a large gap between two rocky mountains. They continued down the trail that led straight ahead until the young lady stopped in her tracks. "It's there," she stated, pointing to a depression near the bottom of the mountain. "We'll have to get off the road from here. Just a little further, come on!"

It began to drizzle as they approached the camp. She helped him down the gentle slope and under the already-set-up tarp before carefully removing his arm from her shoulder. "Welcome, I guess!" she announced, retrieving a spare roll of blankets from her pack of supplies and laying it down across from hers. "I know the place doesn't look like much, but it's only temporary. I'll get a fire going in a few minutes." She grabbed a roll of bandages from her stash of supplies and tossed it to Suo. "In the meantime you can sit and rest on the blankets I got out for you! Do you think you can take care of your wounds while I set up the fire?"

"Yes, I can. Thank you." He crouched and sat down with his injured leg extended and the other bent. He stayed quiet for the few moments he bandaged his cuts and scrapes while the girl placed sticks in the pit in front of him. By then, the rain had increased and fell on the tarp above them noisily, excess water dripping from the edges and sides and landing a little too close to his blankets. Noticing that his sheets were going to get wet, he twisted around and pulled the exposed end further in, not wanting to have anything to do with water around him, before turning back to face the center. Finished with dressing his wounds, he placed the remaining bandages off to the side and rested his elbow casually on his raised knee. Looking over her makeshift shelter curiously, he saw a pack stuffed to the brim with various items and extra rope rolled up neatly next to the leather pack. To him it seemed like the kind of things that frequent travellers brought around with them, though he would've never guessed that she was the type to always be on the move. Wanting to confirm if she was one or not, he cleared his throat and asked, "You look as if you move from place to place. Do you travel a lot?"

"Why, yes I do!" She flashed a warm smile at him before reaching back for larger firewood to place around the smaller twigs. "I wander around, going to various places and mapping them out in my head. I never venture out of the province though."

"And you travel alone? Isn't it a little dangerous for a nice girl like you to be going about all by yourself?"

She froze, her friendly gaze hardening into a glare. "A nice girl? Is that all that you see me as?"

"N-no, that's not what I—"

"Whatever. You probably won't believe it with those kinds of thoughts, but let me tell you that I can take care of myself anywhere, okay? I've got ways of getting what I need and protecting myself if I have to. See this?" She held up the unique metal object that she had with her before, back at the river. "It's called a spinner and it's my weapon of choice. I've beaten up plenty of unlucky attackers and have had plenty of experience fighting my way out of things, so don't take pity on me! I'm not a helpless child and I'm sick of everybody thinking so!" The spinner then clattered to the ground as thunder simultaneously boomed in the distance.

Taken aback by her suddenly aggressive and assertive tone, he replied with a whispered, "I see..." and left it at that. Suo looked on silently as she resumed building a tent-like structure with the wood, letting dry leaves poke out from inside. She wiped her hands together quickly before getting out two objects; one appeared to be a old metal spearhead, the other a dark grey rock. Holding these near the base, she swiftly scraped them together, sending off orange metal pieces that floated around lazily until they landed gracefully in the dirt. It took several more tries until the sparks finally fell on the leaves and burned through them, slowly forming fiery tongues rising in the center. Shortly after, the tiny flames merged together in one small fire, lapping at the wood hungrily as it gradually spread.

Putting the tools away, she finally settled on her blankets and sat comfortably, hugging her legs close to her chest and resting her chin atop her knees. Warmth radiated from the newly created fire while its light illuminated their young faces. He closed his eyes and let his troubles burn away with the fire, listening to the crackling sounds cutting through the downpour of rain. One of the pieces of wood cracked loudly; he opened his eyes to find a shower of sparks sent spinning into the air. He tended to view fire as a destructive entity, but now he appreciated its warm presence over the wild raging river he'd been in. He'd had enough of water today, and he had the feeling that the plain sight of it would instantly bring back the undesirable memories in the future.

He quickly glanced over at the girl's figure, hoping to somehow distract himself from those unwanted feelings. The young man couldn't help but think of how small she appeared in a curled up position like that. She appeared a bit like a child, especially with those big shining eyes and carefree attitude. It was hard to think of her living by herself and not even having a proper place to stay. Was she really capable of surviving on her own out here? He was only expressing his concern earlier and meant no offense, but it seemed that his intent was greatly misinterpreted. Earlier she had been kind enough not to ask about what was going on in his head. Perhaps next time he too wouldn't touch on such a sensitive subject...

"Sorry about before," she apologized.

It was if she had read his mind. He blinked in surprise and waited for her to continue, but after a few seconds passed he opened his mouth—only to be cut off by her resumed speech.

"I know you didn't mean it in any hurtful way. I just got a little worked up, because other people often say that." The young lady stared into the heart of the fire blankly, her face devoid of any expression with the exception of her drooping eyelids. "Somehow, in some way, I give off the impression that I'm naïve and incapable. Everyone treats me like I'm a little girl, but I'm grown up already. They won't believe that I can fend for myself! I'm just tired of it...But you weren't trying to say that, so I'm sorry for getting angry at you."

"It's alright," he replied reassuringly. "I understand the feeling. You try hard to be powerful and tough, but people think you're too soft, kind, or fragile inside to fight like a real warrior. You don't want people to think you're helpless, but when you try to show your strength you end up in bad situations sometimes." He averted his eyes, but he could feel the curious gaze of the girl on him. "I don't know what's worse though: people not taking your abilities seriously or people expecting you to be as great as the top soldiers in your army. For me, it ends up being a combination of both."

She hummed in agreement, looking back into the fire thoughtfully. "People are funny," she commented. "They always get on each other's cases and expect certain things of certain people, sometimes without setting standards for themselves."

"Yeah. Thankfully not everyone is like that." He lifted his head, watching the light of the flickering flames in her eyes. "I guess I can relate to you more than I thought I could, Lady..."

It struck him that he didn't know her name yet, despite the hours he had already spent with her. "Ah, I didn't even ask for your name the entire time we talked...my apologies." He rubbed the back of his neck with embarrassment.

The corner of her mouth lifted into a half-smile. "No worries. Call me Bao Sanniang, no 'Lady' in front of it."

"Bao Sanniang. Alright, then I shall call you by what you prefer." He removed his hand from his neck. "My name is Guan Suo."

"Guan Suo...hey, do you by any chance happen to be related to the Guan Yu, the God of War?"

The mention of his father brought back the undesirable memories that whizzed through his head, quickly shoving guilt and anger in his face. Swallowing his bitter emotions, he forced those thoughts aside and weakly answered, "Y...Yeah, actually. I am his third son."

She gasped—rather dramatically, it seemed to Suo. "Wow! How cool is that! Are you as strong as him?"

He inwardly sighed; he was asked this question more often than not by many other people before her. "Well, I have a long way to go," he began, his voice regaining its strength due to having rehearsed his reply many times. "But I am pretty confident in my abilities. I'm strong enough to protect myself in battle, at least."

"You go into battle? I can't believe it! I finally got to meet a real warrior!" Bao Sanniang's smile widened as she pumped a fist in the air vigorously, the bracelets on her hand audibly clicking and clacking against each other.

"A...real warrior?"

"I've been waiting for a challenge for a while now!" She lowered her hand, still maintaining her happy, beaming expression. "When my father was still trying to get me betrothed, I made it clear that I wouldn't marry anyone weaker than me. I ended up defeating all of my suitors!" She swung the same fist enthusiastically. "I got pretty bored though, so I started to wander around looking for people I could test my strength against. But not many of those that I come across were worth my time. I think you might be, though!" She tilted her head slightly, still sending him a radiant smile as she placed her hands on the ground behind her and leaned back. "After all, you're the son of the God of War! Not everyone gets these kinds of opportunities. This is definitely a fated encounter for the both of us!

"Sure..." He shrugged to himself, not really sure what to make of the things the girl had just said. The young warrior diverted his gaze to the sky, now completely darkened to a palette of night blue and black. The rain had stopped, leaving the atmosphere around their dry fire moist and damp. The brightness of the flickering flames made it hard to spot any of the stars shining in the dark, but he knew they were there, watching over him as they twinkled in the sky. He knew that _theirs_ were among the others as well. It felt kind of pressuring, having all of your deceased ancestors and family looking down at you from above and seeing your every move, but it gave him security knowing that he was safe in their watchful gaze. And Xing and Yinping were surely in their sights as well. With guidance from the heavens, Suo was certain he and his siblings would be reunited... it was only a matter of when.

He felt his stomach cry out in hunger all of a sudden. His face reddened as Sanniang giggled, seeming to have noticed it as well. "Whoops, we forgot the main reasons why we came here in the first place! Here, have some food." She grabbed a sack behind her, untied the knot at the end and reached for its contents. A meatbun was clutched in her hand as she pulled it out and then handed the food to him.

"Thanks." Suo took it gratefully and immediately sank his teeth past its smooth, white exterior into the meaty fillings of barbeque pork. He nodded approvingly as he chewed, enjoying the savory flavors in his mouth before taking another bite quickly. In little time he finished the whole thing, and upon seeing that, Sanniang heartily offered him another one while eating her own. The two ate in silence, but it was a satisfying sort of silence where both felt pleased and relaxed after the deep conversation they were engaged in. When they had eaten to their heart's content, they stamped out the remnants of the fire and embers and agreed on getting some sleep, for they'd need it in the morning to get to the town.

But he could not sleep. He laid awake, staring at the underside of the tarp above them blankly as he breathed deeply with an exhausted sigh. Finding the plain tarp to be a boring sight, he scooted out his blankets further away from the camp's center to gaze at the sky. Now that the fire was out, he could clearly see little stars scattered across the sea of dark blue like white freckles, glistening and twinkling around the glowing half-full moon. Usually the stars were enchanting to watch, dazzling and mesmerizing. Tonight, however, was different, and he expected the following nights to feel the same as well. Their presence was still comforting, but yet, slightly haunting. As he looked up, he felt the gazes of his father and brother winking back at him, in a supportive manner, he knew. But he could not shake away the feelings of shame and failure. He could not help Ping even a little bit in clearing the castle of enemies to at least make things easier for him. He did not fight well enough to hold off the Wu and Wei forces driving a wedge between him and his other siblings. He was standing with his father, side by side, and yet he could not fight back and prevent the enemy from reaching his father. He might as well have been the most powerless of his family.

_I am proud of you, my son, _his father's words echoed.

"I have done nothing that you can be proud of, Father," the young warrior whispered in a disappointed tone, staring at the shimmering stars regretfully. "I am not the powerful and capable warrior you are, and though I aspire to be like you I fear that I will never reach that point of greatness." Tears began to well in his eyes; he paused to wipe them away before continuing. "I don't perform as adequately on the battlefield as my siblings do, either. I am sure that they take after you more than I do. But..." He swallowed, regaining the confidence in his voice. "But, I promise you, I promise you and Ping, that I will still keep fighting, regardless of how weak I am. I will keep fighting in your names and with your spirits in my heart! I will hold onto your memories dearly and never forget what you have done for me! I will not stop until I have accomplished what you have left for us to finish, and even further beyond those!"

He paused, feeling newfound determination rush through his veins as he breathed out the last sentence before closing his eyes.

"And then maybe, just maybe, I will be worthy of being known as the son of the God of War."


End file.
